Author Archives: sparty99
Everything is Awful
It’s been over 3 years since I’ve written (at least for this blog, I’ve written a few things at my sports blog in that time – you should check it out if you haven’t already…well, unless you’re a Michigan fan), and a few of you have asked if you’ve missed some posts from me. Not […]
Hello Again! And Good Riddance 2018.
Well, it’s been a while, and I figured I should make it a goal – not a resolution, those are too easy to give up on – to try to write more. So before I start on some of the thoughts that have been bouncing around in my brain, I figured I’d provide everyone (well, […]
The Date From Hell Chronicles, Volume 4: Trust Your Friends
It has been brought to my attention that my blog posts have been increasingly sporadic and somewhat boring. I must admit I can see the point, as the state of the world today has me more than a little pissed off and lazy/apathetic (at least when it comes to sitting down and writing). So today […]
Kill the Electoral College…Um, Right?
Let’s get started with a simple fact. The Electoral College came about because of slavery. It’s that simple. It was a compromise between the North and South because the South realized that if the presidency was determined by the popular vote, they’d always lose the vote (you know, since the vast majority of people in […]
Go Away Bernie
Let’s be honest. If I wanted to go the easy route and write a story about the utter clusterfuck that is the 2016 presidential election, I’d just write about the walking manifestation of an internet comments section that is Donald Trump and be done with it. But there are a couple of problems with this. See, […]
To Shame or Not to Shame
A few years back I wrote a post about the fact that I hated the term “BBW” – big beautiful women. One of the reasons I wrote it was because I knew literally no one who’d ever used the phrase, either to describe themselves or someone they cared about. It was always something that was […]
I Will…
There’s a well-known saying that has been said many different ways by many different people, but I prefer the version the immortal Al Swearengen of Deadwood fame once said: Announcing your plans is a good way to hear God laugh. I use that quote a lot, usually when people make what I believe to be […]
The Greatest Dating Profile You’ll Ever Read or: Dating Is Stupid
Dating is stupid. It’s that simple. I could go into some long diatribe about how it’s confusing and it makes no sense and my dating stories are ridiculous. However, I’ve shared enough of my dating stories to at least provide some entertainment (you can always send donations for said entertainment via PayPal to guy.serumgard@gmail.com…some of […]
My Torment
Anyone who knows me knows I’ve always been an angry guy. Angry, morose, depressed, sad…I’ve just never been happy. And for lack of a better way of putting it, I’m tired of it. Of course, the question then becomes, “How do you fix it?” If anyone’s got an answer, I’m all ears. I’ve spent tons […]
The Bride Called Me Creepy 