I was on the phone with my mom this afternoon and she asked me who I was rooting for in today’s gold medal hockey game between the U.S. and Canada. I don’t think she expected me to respond with, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Notice, I didn’t say, “What the fuck are you talking aboot?”

I hate Canada. Hate ’em. I might pull for Iran or North Korea against Canada. I hate hearing Sidney Crosby’s name, for crying out loud.

It’s not just the Olympics, although they haven’t really helped their cause. The Canadians broke prior Olympic policy and refused to open up their venues to non-Canadian athletes for practice. Before the Opening Ceremonies, a 21-year-old luger who admitted he was afraid of the track crashed and died. The IOC (God, they suck too) and the Vancouver Olympic Committee blamed the kid who died…and then shortened the track and put a big wooden board up where the kid died.

Fuckers.

General Motors paid $18.5 million over 20 years (I have no idea if that’s American or Canadian) for the naming rights to Vancouver’s hockey arena. That’s $925,000 a year. When the Olympics roll around and the arena’s going to get more exposure than any other time in those 20 years, the arena becomes Canada Hockey Center (or Centre, I guess…fuckers). And yet we see the Nike swoosh on everyone’s sweaters.

Fuckers.

I went to Canada a few years back on a Saturday night. As you come over the border, there’s a currency exchange booth. I give them $100 to turn into their monopoly money; they gave me $110. Fine. I wind up using credit cards while I’m in their God-forsaken country and have all of my $110 left when I go to the currency exchange counter again. They give me $90. Mind you, this is 3 hours later on a Saturday night. It’s not possible for the exchange rate to have moved.

I have to pay to get over there, I have to pay to come back, I spend my money in their country and then they essentially rob anyone on their absurd exchange rate bullshit.

Fuck you you curling-loving Canucks.