Reset

Recently (and by recently i mean within the past few months) some of the people who read this blog have asked for more posts. OK. One person. But I think I share this blog with 10 people, and that represents 10% of my readership, and…something something something.

Here’s the thing: I like to write. I have a lot of ideas. The problem is that these do not have a cause and effect relationship. Logically, I would take the opportunity to write down these awesome ideas as soon as they pop up and then people would read them and tell their friends and I’d have a ton of readers, and then I’d be popular and the women would love me. And quite frankly, everything I do is to get the women to love me.

But as you can see, I lack focus.

The fact is, I write a lot. But it’s mostly on other people’s Facebook posts, or on a message board that I used to be ashamed of. But these are more like sports discussions, or discussions about politics, a sort of back and forth that is far more possible in the internet age, because you can have a “conversation” with someone and not hear the tone in their voice that suggests that they don’t give a fuck about what you’re saying because they don’t respect your opinion.

And the thing is I like to think I have some entertaining opinions and stories. I also have what seems to be a lack of structure in my life. One week is for the gym, the next is for the Tigers and booze. I’ve got a shit ton of movies and TV shows to go through but the more I go through life the more I realize that it’s not going to matter if I ever see Young Frankenstein or watch Oz from start to finish.

Again, focus.

Here’s the thing. In the past, here are just some of the ideas I’ve come up with for blog posts:

  • Announcing my candidacy for the 2016 presidency (don’t laugh, I’d be a kickass prez…I’d put Slick Willy to shame)
  • The fact that I love Apple products but I think the company may be evil (and Steve Jobs was clearly the Antichrist)
  • The fallacy of saying something is visible from space
  • Parents who insist that their kids’ entire school pander to their peanut allergies and why that’s going to guarantee that my future kid will undoubtedly have the worst peanut allergy on the planet
  • Fat women who only talk about sex
  • Why Judas betrayed Jesus (seriously, I don’t remember this one…it was in Vegas and I think it had something to do with the free bread we got at an Italian restaurant)
  • People from Michigan who complain about the weather
  • The ’80s as self-parody
  • How many men have fucked someone while wearing the Masters’ Green Jacket

As you can see, I have many intriguing ideas.

So since I’ve recently taken to Twitter, I’m thinking I may try to get this up and running again and see if people are interested. If you are great, if you think it sucks, well, bite me.

Now, when it takes 8 months for my next post, well, just go back and read from the beginning.

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